Bumper Cars

The thoughts in my mind are careening around like bumper cars at the local carnival. I can’t seem to focus on one thought for a breath before one of them spins off and bumps into three other thoughts. My brain is at capacity. I have finally reached my limit of being able to manage the…

Survival Mode

Television, World of Warcraft, and movies have become my distractions of choice. What is my motivation for spending hours every day watching reruns of Suits, or leveling my WoW character, or binge watching all the Marvel movies in a week? Some of it is entertainment - it is enjoyable to relax and not have to…

A Conflicted Life

I am conflicted about life. Two nights ago, I woke up suddenly at 4am; all the anxieties and tensions and confusions battering my mind like hail pounding a tender body. I whispered, half asleep, but three-quarters angry, “I hate this fucking life.” I know this because my partner repeated these words the next morning, sadness…