Written by Okay, Whit, it’s time to face some big questions. The serious questions. The get-your-shit-together questions.
What do you want to do with your life?
This question is becoming increasingly difficult to answer. The more experiences you have had over the past six months, the more you have realised that there are so many places you love, so many things you enjoy doing, and so many people all over the world who bring joy to your life. How are you supposed to decide what you want for your life when your heart is torn into a thousand different pieces that are scattered all over the world? How can you make one decision and follow one path when there are millions of paths that you could travel?
And, most importantly, how do you know that the one path you choose is the right path, the path that will make you the happiest?
Life is a series of decisions (around 35,000 a day, in fact). All you can do is make a decision with your heart in the present moment given the information that you currently have. Is your heart telling you that this is the right decision, not for anyone else, but just for you?
People rarely follow their hearts. We become muddled and lost in the streets of our minds, going in circles or losing ourselves in a maze of doubt, questions, and fear. What would happen if we all made decisions driven by our hearts? If we all became vulnerable and had a deep discussion with our inner selves?
But we don’t. We make decisions based off of obligation, societal norms, family pressures, peer expectations, etc. Usually, our decisions aren’t really our own in the first place. Decisions often start as thoughts and words from others that creep into our minds and pretend to originate from us. They are pervasive, these thoughts. They start small, a whisper in our ear, and grow larger until we are fooled into thinking that that decision was our own, that it comes from us and it is the right thing to do.
If we were truly present to ourselves and our deepest feelings, dreams, and desires, we would see the truth of it: the decisions we make, the paths we follow, are often all within the confines of the box we have been placed in, the box of expectations, obligations, manipulations, insecurities, pressures, and labels. We believe we are free, but we are not. We are prisoners to our own minds.
True freedom is often deemed “crazy,” “wild,” “unstable,” and “selfish.” When someone decides to quit her job because she is unhappy, she is considered irresponsible (remember that time your mom yelled at you on the phone because you quit your job?). So, she stays put (you didn’t, but that’s a story for another time). When someone has amassed huge amounts of debt because capitalism has told him this is what he needs to do to be happy, he is forced to continue working a job he hates, surrounded by things upon things that only weigh him down. We are told that making decisions for ourselves and our personal happiness is selfish, that we must think of others first.
Courage is recognising what you need, saying it out loud, and standing up for yourself and your happiness. Leading others starts with leading yourself. And sometimes, leading yourself is learning to say, “No.” We must start by loving ourselves and making decisions to show ourselves kindness and compassion. We cannot continue to live in a world where we put ourselves last, constantly shoving our dreams under the rug (or deep in the dark, dank basement of denial). We should all start leading with our hearts a little more; we will be happier for it.
Whit, your life over the past six months has been composed of love and friends and experiences and food and nature, all of which have brought you happiness and filled your heart with joy. Almost every decision you have made has been for yourself and your happiness. If something is making you unhappy, you change it. Sometimes drastically (your new haircut is nothing compared to the decision to live out of your car). You have stepped outside of the box that you were placed in and have created your own box. A box without walls.
Some people have said you are being selfish. Maybe you are. But does that really matter? When you die, you will have absolutely no regrets. How many people can say that? You have lived a life of purpose, exploration, beauty, connection, and freedom. How amazing is that?!
Listen to your heart; it will show you the right path. Right now, your heart is speaking of freedom. You don’t have a conventional answer to the question, “What do you want to do with your life.” Your heart is saying: I want to be free.
So, let it. Let yourself be free. Free to love, free to travel, free to explore, free to grow. You aren’t bound by anyone’s expectations right now. The only responsibility you have is to yourself and your dreams.
Life is so much more than you could ever have imagined. In fact, you never could have dreamed of this life five years ago.
And you know the best part? It’s only going to continue to get better.
Whit Munroe 