Written by There’s something you need to talk about, Whit. It’s a complicated topic. Where do you even start? Ugh.
Men.
Ever since you were 12 years old, you have had a man on your mind. ALWAYS. There was always a guy you had a crush on, who you would follow around and write letters to and draw pictures for and dream about. In fact, your first ever diary entry was about a boy. In your 12-year-old handwriting in your new Winnie the Pooh diary, you wrote, “This is my first diary. Why am I writing this now? Because Johnny asked me out. But, I don’t like him very much, so I don’t think I’ll go out with him. And anyways, I’m in love with Chris.” And thus, the obsession with romantic love began.
When you were younger, you used to dream about Chris walking down the street to your house and asking you out. Or you would imagine your prince charming kissing you like they did in the movies. You spent so much of your time waiting, dreaming and wishing for something magical to happen. And honestly, as you’ve gotten older, this hasn’t changed much (erm… hasn’t changed at all…).
Last night, you went for a walk and ended up in a park as the sun was setting. There was no one around and one of your favourite songs started playing through your earbuds, so you started dancing. In this moment, you were your 12 year-old self again, dreaming of prince charming. As you were dancing, you kept looking around and waiting…waiting for a guy to walk around the corner, see you you dancing, and then approach you because he (obviously) admired your free spirit and thought you were the most amazing woman ever. You kept waiting for life to send you someone, to send you a sign that you are wonderful, and to validate this fact by giving you a man.
Then you realised: this IS the sign. What life is telling you right now is that YOU are everything you need. By yourself. Alone. You need to dance just for you and no one else. You have had so many beautiful experiences in your life and you have never valued them because you always thought you would be “happier” if a man were there.
Society values couples. It always has. Love is romanticised in movies, books, and tv shows as if it is the main goal in life. Sure, love can be incredible, but being alone is valuable, too. Over the past few months, you have learned that more than anything else: you have value on your own, Whit.
Right now, you need to be alone. You need to focus your time and energy on yourself, on healing and giving love to yourself. You still have a long way to go to become your happy, healthy self again. And you need to do that independent of a relationship.
You are a long way from 12 years old and a Winnie the Pooh diary, but it’s never too late to learn something new. Now you are learning how to be alone.
Whit Munroe 